Week 15, Homer, Alaska

My Salmon Brethren,

You know that scene in that one episode of "The Angry Beavers" where Daggett is jumping on the couch and jumps into the light on the ceiling, gets electrocuted, and then falls on the floor and says "That was nuts!"? That was pretty much my week. Sometimes I feel like my life is an episode of Angry Beavers. That's Alaska for you.

Tuesday wasn't the greatest. Nobody was home. And I mean that literally. Lots of doors, no people. Sad day.

Then Wednesday the party started. We helped Gwen (the witch lady) with some service and taught her a lesson about the importance of the Book of Mormon, which she has been reading. She is going on vacation for a little while now, so hopefully she reads it on her ferry ride to Bellingham. Then we stopped by a few more people and ended up running late to dinner, which was out all the way in Ninilchik, about 35-40 minutes away. So naturally we were speeding. While going 76 in a 55 we got flashed by a trooper as we crested a hill and got railed. He pulled us over (Elder Freestone is the designated driver) and gave us a ticket. Our ticket would have been $300, but because he was an awesome trooper he dropped it to $50. Then after dinner and a lesson with the bush people Jim and Leanna and there menagerie of goats we got pulled over again on the way home! Elder Freestone didn't see the speed limit sign and we got caught at 15 over the speed limit. He gave us the flashlight treatment and everything. He also dropped our ticket from $175 to $82, so I'm not about to complain. But I get to pay half the speeding tickets because that's how the mission rules work, but other than that it was hilarious. Elder Freestone was getting lit up. He was a cranky monster after that. He's the funniest guy in the world.

Friday the adventures continued. After a good day of working we got home and planned. Our bathroom had been seriously neglected in the cleaning process of our apartment, so I decided that I would clean the bathroom. We had some The Works which I used to clean the toilet and I got the sink with some scrubbing bubbles. Then Elder Freestone came in to help me with the shower. So I poured in a bunch of the works and started scrubbing, and to make it better he added some scrubbing bubbles and a good amount of bleach cleaner. Now, it says on the Works bottle in big letters DO NOT MIX WITH BLEACH, but we weren't in to reading things and we weren't paying attention. After about five seconds of scrubbing I noticed a horrible, noxious smell coming out of the tub so I went and turned on all the fans and opened the windows. We turned on the shower to rinse it out, but within five minutes our entire apartment was filled with chlorine gas. Turns out when you mix the Works with bleach it creates a chemical reaction that releases copious amounts of chlorine gas, which will kill you in high enough amounts, in to the air. After getting permission from our authorities we got out of the apartment and went and slept at a members house for the night. The Kirkpatricks were chill and let us crash on the couch. 

Then in the morning we ate lots of French toast. French toast is the best. After we did studies at their house, Hyram, the 17 year old son, asked if he could go with us for the day. So we took him with us all day long. It was pretty awesome. We ended up having a good day with a couple appointments and then we took him tracting and taught a lesson while tracting. It was a really good testimony building experience for him and for me. It's cool to watch the Gospel change a majorly insecure and slightly depressed young man to somebody who is happy. That's the purpose of the whole thing I suppose. Hyram has been debating whether to serve a mission or not, but I think he'll go. He wants to do it, so it will be fun to see what happens.

Sunday was also really good. After an interesting testimony meeting at church we again took Hyram out teaching with us. We talked with Billy about getting a new baptismal date, but she isn't ready yet because she won't be able to make it to church enough to have a close baptismal date. Then we talked with Bruce who has started reading the Book of Mormon again and is asking lots of questions and we actually get to teach him things. He likes it a lot, he's just not a fan of religion in general because he's seen to many hypocrites in his day. He also told us that Seattle stomped San Francisco at football, which always makes it a good day. After trying a few more people I ate the best fish tacos of my life, then went and made cinnamon rolls. They were so good I ate three of them this morning for breakfast. And yet I wonder why I have trouble losing weight.

That's pretty much been the week. It was a crazy one, but every week is pretty crazy when you're teaching the Gospel. If it wasn't nuts they wouldn't call it the best two years I guess. Hope you all have a great week this week, try not to gas yourselves like we did. But it gets you a free sleepover, so it's not all bad.

Love,

Elder John Miller 

Week 14, Homer, Alaska

Hello!

I just fell asleep for like two hours, so this may be coming at you kinda late. It wasn't even a good nap. Dang it.

This week was pretty crazy busy, mainly because we had to drive to Anchorage. We left Tuesday on our five hour drive with the K Beach elders, ate some taco bell, regretted eating taco bell, and got to Anchorage that night. The reason we went up was because we had a triple zone zone conference with the Anchorage zones. They were going to install TIWIs in our vehicles, but they ended up getting delayed another six months, so we didn't get them. We were supposed to get them last August, but it looks like I'll never have to deal with them, which is awesome. TIWis track your driving, your speeding, your braking, how fast you take turns, and a lot of other things. They're a big pain in the butt when you only have ten minutes to make an appointment that's 15 miles away. Which seems to happen to me a lot. So I'm glad they didn't get here yet. I'd get in too much trouble too quick. We all know how I drive.

Zone conference was really good this time. It was my 5th one. I only have three left. Weird. I still remember the first one. After zone conference we got a new truck and drove back down to Sterling and stayed the night with the Elders there. Sleep overs are fun. We didn't get home till Thursday.

Thursday was a really good day. We had a lesson with Annette and gave her a copy of the Book of Mormon in German which she has been reading. Then she came to church on Sunday. She's serious about this whole thing which is super cool. We taught her about the Plan of Salvation and she loved it so next time we are going to give her a baptismal date. Exciting times.

Friday was pretty meh, but Saturday we taught lessons all day. I destroyed an 11 year-old in a wrestling match who then kneed me right in the back (own), played with some barbies, took a bowling pin to the face, and ate some terrible cookies. Good stuff.

Alright, we gotta go to dinner now at Starvin' Marvin's so I gotta go. So I don't know what time you'll get this. Dang naps. Have a great week!

Love,

Elder John Miller 

Week 13, Homer, Alaska

Hello everybody!

This week was another crazy one. It seems like most of them are that
way. Also, if anyone is wondering why these come at random times
during the day, it's because they send whenever I get to WiFi and I
don't have WiFi most of the time. So if it shows up at 9 30 pm don't
be alarmed.

Tuesday was pretty lame, straight up. But Wednesday we had a lesson
with a witch! She's super cool, but also kind of sketchy. I think she
put a spell on us, but I'm not totally sure on that. I also learned
what zodiac signs and horoscopes were, so that was neat. I don't know
if we'll go back though. There's a lot of witches in Alaska, it's kind
of weird.

Thursday was nuts. On Thursdays we do service at the long term care
Center here in town and we help the old people play bingo. But this
week the old people were about to start a riot. Peg, who's like 90 and
has pretty severe Alsheimers, was repeating all the number 5 times
after they were called which really annoyed Betty. So Betty started
getting cranky which in turn made Louisa cranky. And the caretakers
are all laughing at this point and playing along with it all. Then Pat
asked me to help her out because she's in a wheelchair and she needed
to go somewhere, but there was a big ol' oxygen machine right there so
I had to fanangle her around the oxygen machine and I accidently
bumped her into Louisa twice which made Louisa throw down. She started
yelling at me and I didn't know what to do because she's a nice old
lady so I just stood there and took it while she lit me up. Then Betty
started raging and Peg was still calling out B13 while Laura cleaned
up and won like 4 games. And the attendants were laughing the whole
time. It was awesome. Then we went to a lesson with Annette and she
wanted to get baptized and listened to everything and accepted it all.
Now we just have to find her a German Book of Mormon. Only on
Thursdays.

Then at our dinner appointment on Friday we got to move an 800 pound
gun safe which was fun. And also a huge grill. But the best part was
that when we were teaching our lesson I looked over at Elder Freestone
so he could take over and he smiled and pointed down at his leg where
their dog was trying to mate with his leg. I took care of the lesson
after that. They made us some good steak though, so it was worth
fighting off a crazy dog.

Saturday we roofed a building that's being converted into a house. It
was a pretty steep roof so I thought I was going to fall and die a few
times but it was a lot of fun. I think I broke most of the OSHA rules
I know though, so don't let them know.

Sunday was also really good. Annette came to church, which was
awesome, and we got to hang out with the Primary kids for sharing
time. Then after church we met with Billy Swisher who has a sweet scar
from her surgery. After that we net with Bruce Barnes, who refused to
turn off the football game (Cardinals vs. Patriots, I hope the
Cardinals won) but we still managed to talk about the Gospel and it
was really good. When people leave the TV on its the most distracting
thing in the world because I've been without it for so long I turn
into a three year old watching cartoons. It's rough sometimes.

So that's this week. Hopefully you all had good weeks too! Talk to you
next week.

Elder John Miller

Week 12, Homer, Alaska

Howdy!

This week was another crazy one. It's been a bit more rough than other
weeks, but that's how it goes sometimes. You have to have the hard
times to appreciate the easy times. You just gotta stay positive and
happy through 'em and keep pushing forward. Life is too awesome here
to let things drag you down.

At the last count I have 200 plus bug bites. The itching is
incredible. I'm praying for snow, because once the snow hits the bugs
will disappear. I hate all these stupid bugs. There's so many. We need
a really good frost this year to make it all work out right. That's
what we're hoping for.

This week we did a lot of service cause most of our people are still
put of town, so we're just going around doing good things. That's how
I got so many bug bites. But people actually start listening after you
do service for them. It's really fun, and it's a good way to open
doors. Lots of wood splitting and wood stacking. Good times for
everyone involved. Pictures are already sent.

We've been doing a lot of work these last few days, but nothing super
exciting has been happening and there's no real major developments. We
just keep on keeping on. I'll let you know when more crazy crap goes
down. Something crazy is always going down somewhere, just not this
week. But next week will be nuts.

With love,
Elder John Miller

Zone Meeting

Russian Nesting Dolls